spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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