Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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