So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
