proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Randomize
