She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
