i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
im holly from the hills drunk
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
