I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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