his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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