dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
