I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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