So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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