It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
