So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
