Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
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