you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
