Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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