I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
