OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
