i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
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