I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
