I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
