i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Small penises have feelings too.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
