It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
