so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
