yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
