...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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