You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize
