dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
