your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
