You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
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