Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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