some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
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