So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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