I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I had to cum in my sink.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
