he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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