Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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