I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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