were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
