Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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