There is no way he is gay with that hair.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
