Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
