Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
