Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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