no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
he fucked my hip out of place.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
