I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
As shirtless as possible
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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