i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
