i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Randomize
