he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
