Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
