So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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