thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
