I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
