I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
